school assignment

I am Cole (after)

I am healing and bewildered.
I wonder if I will ever be forgiven.
I hear Peter calling me, willing me to come to his aid.
I see Garvey pull up in his boat, boasting of how far I’ve come.
I want to get better, to please Garvey in his expectations for me, to be free.
I am healing and bewildered.

I pretend that I don’t want to soak in icy water or carry a twenty pound rock.
I feel my anger lifting away from me.
I touch the rough bark of the tree, the one whose trunk leans away from me no matter which way I turn.
I worry about the left end of the stick; it’s in the back of my mind but never out of reach.
I cry when I think of what I did to Peter and how much I regret it.
I am healing and bewildered.

I understand that I was wrong in my actions and my beliefs, and that consequences are always there, no matter how bad they may be.
I say that it won’t happen again (it won’t), that I’m sorry (I am), and that I am healing from the inside out.
I dream of helping others as Garvey has helped me.
I try my best not to let my anger get the best of me.
I hope to make a difference and to see the spirit bear, touch the bear, breathe the bear, and to save it like saved me.
I am healing and bewildered.

a poem i wrote as an assignment for english:

I am Cole (before)

I am cold and unforgiving.
I wonder what tomorrow brings- break-ins, beatings, or juvie.
I hear the whimpering of those who fear me.
I see them cowering in the hall.
I want them to know fear as I have known fear.
I am cold and unforgiving.

I pretend that I fear nothing, no one, not a thing.
I feel anger towards the world and everyone, everything in it.
I touch my father’s belt, making stripes upon my back.
I worry about getting caught or getting sent to jail.
I cry silently so no one hears, alone so no one sees.
I am cold and unforgiving.

I understand that I’m mean, angry and out-of-control.
I say that it won’t happen again… I know that it will.
I dream of living for today, not tomorrow’s satisfaction.
I try to do nothing, usually I succeed.
I hope for nothing because I get nothing.
I am cold and unforgiving.

She lay there in the hospital
brought on by herself,
and she lay there dying
as her stomach got pumped out.
The last words she ever said were “dad, come visit me”
and guess what: he never did
though his love was her life’s key.
He never called
didn’t even bat an eye,
cause he was too busy gettin
too drunk
too high.
Yeah he loved her,
just didn’t care,
now he’s passed out in his easy chair.

Pain Drenched Sorrow

My eyes are my mask-

They sparkle with joy,

But when I’m alone they

Leak tears of pain.

Like a faucet I turn the tears on or off,

But now the pipes are leaking.

More and more the faucet drips,

Each tear comes slowly faster

‘till one of these days I’ll lose control; small drips

become a waterfall

cascading down

my cheeks.

Pain drenched sorrow is what I have,

Relief

is what I need,

but that pipe has many turns, forks, and dead-ends.

If I take the wrong path I’ll be lost,

dead in a place with no name.

Kassidy

By Leah Nerys

She’s the laugh I need,

When I feel I could cry,

The crazy random gift

With no reason why,

The light so bright,

That shines through the dark,

The match that makes,

A fire spark,

She’s kind and smart,

And has always been there,

She’s a truly great girl,

Who I know really cares,

She’s an amazing person,

And I’m sure you agree,

She is my friend,

And always will be!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

Lots of things describe her, but to me?

She reminds me of a fire,

no matter your words or patience,

it won’t ever change her burning desire,

To cause pain and hurt;

do nothing but kill,

to leave her chest gaping,

where a heart should fill.

A storm cannot defeat her,

and your hate just gives her power,

Be careful, don’t get to close!

Or your happiness she will devour.

It’s not as if she can disappear,

There will always be memories you can’t forget.

Of her walking into your life,

A time you can’t help regret.

She’s a sugar-coated secret,

The secret no one wants to tell,

she’s no where near what you’d call heaven,

Earth’s little taste of hell.