I feel pain…

A kind of pain that hurts on the inside

Not physical pain…

Emotional.

It’s not just hurting me,

It’s feasting on me.

My mind is haunted.

Over run with thought’s of hate, sadness, emptiness,

I don’t want to eat and I can’t sleep,

I feel dead.

My knees are shaking,

This is both a natural thing and one I am controlling,

I don’t want to stop because this is tells me I’m still alive.

I’m ignoring my conscience.

My lips feel glued together.

My eyes are set on this screen.

I don’t want to talk about it.

Images fill my empty head:

His arms, her words typed out in front of me, my reflection,

Hate, sadness, and emptiness…

Repeated over and over.

I feel numb.

My knees are not about to stop because I won’t let them.

My life is important to me.

My head is spinning but time seems to be standing still.

I jump at every sound or movement,

To scared of everything.

I can’t think straight

I don’t want to because I’ll just open my mouth.

I don’t want help to this; I don’t feel the need,

I only feel hate, sadness, emptiness,

Hate for her,

Sadness for him,

Emptiness for myself,

I won’t hurt anyone with this.

So don’t ask t share the pain.

copyright Leah Backstrom 2008